Photo Taken in New York after Love And Hip Hop Reunion Taping “2015”
According to Forbes Magazine nearly 80 percent of small business owners don’t make it pass the first three years. Although ihatemypublicist wasn’t a fully self-sufficient operated business it was a staple in this industry for celebrity entertainment news. So I think it’s somewhat safe to say that we beat the statistics. If you would’ve told me that the site would’ve taken off like it did, back when I started in 2013, I probably would’ve believed you. Notice that I said would because I believed in it that much.
It was just a little after my 24th birthday. I was working at a Media Rep. Firm in Philadelphia and I was growing tired of the work that I was doing there. It was right after Obama’s second presidential term and I was a major key when it came to making sure his radio advertisements were being processed properly before being sent over to the radio stations. We worked with stations all over the country so as you can imagine the pressure was very intense. One screw up from me and my boss was on my back. It felt like I was on a live episode of one of P-Diddy’s reality shows. A mistake from me might include me sending the wrong time or day that Obama’s presidential ad was supposed to play on the radio and if that happened, it would cost the agency representing him tons of money, so I had to be extra careful because everything went directly through my fingertips. Either way after the election I decided that it was time for me to start my own thing and go back to what I was most passionate about. Entertainment Journalism!
So after a couple of months of doing research I came up with this crazy idea of starting this blog and I would name it ihatemypublicist.com. Four years later and I’ve reached the decision to shut down the site. *Gasps for air and clinches pearls*. LOL yes girl I know but before I fully dive into that let’s rewind a bit.
Six months after I started the site I moved to Atlanta. I chose Atlanta because it was affordable and it’s one of the entertainment capitols for urban entertainment. In the beginning things were really taking off for the site and it was really fun. But over the years I would begin to feel guilty about being a “blogger”. Even though I tried to keep the stories positive and I always came with receipts and facts it didn’t matter. The harsh reality of being a blogger is no matter how sweet, genuine or positive you are in real life you will still be perceived differently. I went to school for journalism and when I wrote for the Hornet Newspaper the only section I wanted to cover was the fashion and entertainment section. That was what the students at Delaware State looked forward to reading most. No one ever looked at me as a messy person when I was doing that so I thought it would be the same in the blogosphere. Unfortunately that wasn’t my reality.
Most people love the website and it’s originality which is what kept me going everyday even through my roughest days. But there were individuals who weren’t too fond of it either. Nor were they too happy about having me around.
I remember once I went to dinner with a particular ‘instagram celeb’, their camp, as well as a good friend of mine and at some point or another during dinner someone mentioned that I was a blogger and how I had this “amazing” website. It made me feel great but it made the individual extremely uncomfortable. Which ultimately made me uncomfortable because I never wanted to be known for trying to defame anyone. That isn’t who I am in real life so I could never be that person behind a computer screen. Sadly you can not change a person’s perception of who you are when you go by certain titles. Unfortunately blogging just so happens to be one of those titles. No one told me this when I signed up though. HA!
So that was the reality and it would always agitate my spirit. I just wanted to write dope stories that would make an even bigger connection between an artist and their fans. But at times I would be afraid or too ashamed to tell people what I did or who I was. My friends would brag about how dope the site was when introducing me to others and over time I just began to shy away from it. It wasn’t as cool as it was when I first started. That is when I knew that it was simply no longer for me. I’ve been battling with these thoughts for over a year and a half now and I felt it was just time to be honest with myself and my supporters.
I’m not quitting nor am I giving up on my dreams. When I started the site I was 24 and now I’m 28. I’m a total different person. I was a girl and now I’m a woman and I’ve definitely reached a growth spurt so it’s time to move forward. Besides, I’m sure Kim Kardashian won’t miss me posting about what her and Kanye had on last night anyway. HA!
I appreciate everyone that has been a huge support throughout these four years and I hope you’ll join me on my next journey as I began to re-brand my business and my image. I’m done crying now. Love you all!